Accept that for now, this is where you’re at, and fully experience what that’s like for you.
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Own where you are and give yourself full permission to be there.
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‘Why aren’t I strong enough?’ Know that loyalty is such an admirable trait, even if it gets in the way of your capacity to protect yourself. The act of returning to an abusive relationship can set trigger self-loathing. Healing starts with expecting more for yourself, and you’re the only person who can make that decision.ĭon’t be harsh on yourself if you stay in the relationship. You’re not responsible for them or for the state of your relationships with them, and you are under no obligation to keep lining yourself up be abused, belittled, shamed or humiliated. Sometimes though, the only way to stop the disease spreading is to amputate. It doesn’t matter how much you love some people, they are broken to the point that they will only keep damaging you from the inside out. We humans are wired to connect, even with people who don’t deserve to be connected to us. This is such a difficult decision, but it could be one of the most important. It begins with the decision that the legacy of shame and hurt left behind by a toxic parent won’t be the way your story will end. It is possible to heal from by toxic parenting. You’re not useless at life – you’ve bought in to the messages that were delivered by a parent too broken to realise what they were doing.
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The truth is that you, like every other small person on the planet, deserved love, warmth, and to know how important you were. If you’re reading this and thinking, ‘Well yeah, my parent/s did that, but only because it was true – I’m pretty useless at life,’ then chances are that parent was a toxic one. A toxic parent treat his or her children in such a way as to make those children doubt their importance, their worth, and that they are deserving of love, approval and validation. They oversee childhoods with no warmth, security or connection.Īny negative behaviour that causes emotional damage or contaminates the way a person sees himself or herself, is toxic. That, or they’ll shove you off a cliff to show the world how well they catch you. They’ll push you down just to criticise you for the way you fall. You make school captain, your sister would have been a better one. You get an A+, they’ll wonder why you aren’t school captain. Toxic parents lie, manipulate, ignore, judge, abuse, shame, humiliate and criticise. All are destructive.Ī toxic parent has a long list of weapons, but all come under the banner of neglect or emotional, verbal or physical abuse. Some are so obvious that they can be spotted from space through the eye of a needle. When children are raised on a diet of criticism, judgement, abuse and loathing, it’s only a matter of time before they take over from those parents, delivering with full force to themselves the toxic lashings that have been delivered to them.
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None of us are perfect, including our parents, but there is a point at which imperfect becomes destructive, taking away from children the love, warmth and nurturing they deserve and replacing it with something awful. The scarring and hurt that comes from a toxic parent probably isn’t something we talk about enough. Kind of like being broken from the inside out. There is a different kind of hurt that can only come from a toxic parent – someone who is meant to love you.
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It’s one thing to be dipped in venom by those you don’t really care about, but when it’s by the person who is meant to love you, hold you, and take the sharp edges off the world, while teaching you with love, wisdom and warmth how to do it for yourself, it changes you.